At four my mommy told me that she loved me and she'd hold me
I never met my father- never called once, didn't bother
At six I met my step-dad, he seemed cool but he'd sure get mad
At mom then she'd start drinking, get depressed and then start screaming

Bastard! You never really loved me, all you do is argue and try to get the
last word! Can't you see it's your fault I'm drinking, crying myself to sleep at night?

Then at twelve I took the trash out, broke the door, glass slit my wrist ow
I could not stop the bleeding, mom got pissed and started screaming
"Get your blood off my floor, it's your fault you'll pay for that door" and
Who knew that my affliction would soon serve as my addiction?

And that hurt! But it made me feel so much better never lost it again
Helped me to master, all of my emotions the cutting seemed to take all my pain away

The years went by, got my head slammed in the door a few times.
But I didn't cry cause I liked the pain
She and I grew so far apart she barely knew me,
Then I grew my hair out to hide my face

At fifteen my mother wondered if she should abort my brother
Had me make her decision - life or death - I said "Keep with him"
She hated me for months, cut back on alcohol and drugs but
Took it all out on me and Dylan who was barely three then she'd get

Plastered! Disappear for weeks, left the babies by themselves or with me, I finally asked her: "What the hell is wrong with you, mom? I just can't take it I'm going to leave."

At twenty-one got a call- the house burned down, they'd lost it all and
My grandma burned alive inside my childhood house that night then
At twenty-two both brothers lived with me, hated their mother
She called me that December, talked about what she remembered

She said she had regrets, that she had failed but tried her best and
She was afraid of dying- she was bleeding, she was crying
Asked me if it was okay if she took some pills and OD'd
Had me make her decision- life or death- I said keep living

She bled to death that night in her chair- cold, alone, and frightened
As I cleaned up her mess I still felt nothing, I confess, but
Years later feelings surfaced, I feel pain and have no purpose
Other than raise my daughter- I can still be a good father

I just go through the motions, just because I lack emotions
They're somewhere deep inside me I Keep searching they keep hiding
I hide behind my smile, I sometimes laugh, and sometimes cry, but
Just know I'll never change, but that's okay I'm not deranged

I'm an actor. Going through the scenes, I've got Zoey so I know we'll
live happily ever after. Gonna be the dad that I never had and nothing can stop me now

Nothing can stop me now
Nothing can stop me now